WW in MLC affair and I need advice..

[Natash]

So I've read that it gets worse before it gets better and that's where we are. I have noticed a pattern with my wife that she makes plans every other weekend with her one friend that is covering for her to be able to continue to be rebellious and carry on with her affair. I sumized this weekend there would be last minute plans announced. I also summizd she would go to a hotel in town where there is an annual huge St.Pattys day celebration, not to mention she used to work there when she was early 20s and loved it. I said to myself, wouldn't that be convenient...OM can come in from out of town, rent a room, and hang out with my wife. So Saturday rolls around and I had some gal plans in the morning but found out my girls were going to have a sleepover with my W parents. How convenient? This is probably out of guilt because the last time my W went out for a 6hr "lunch" our girls began getting worried and called her often wondering when she was coming home. Kids are away, mom can play right? I so want to ask my MIL what exactly my wife told her the plans were. I wanted to.pick my girls up and bring them home, how dare she use them as pawns! Then I thought about it and realized the girls would be the ones to suffer and I can't have that. So I'm in my room putting away laundry, sticking around to be able to say goodbye to my girls, and realized I had a bag of condoms in my dresser. I decided to count them to make sure none of them disappeared when my wife walked in and laughed. I acted like I was putting away laundry and she said "need condoms?" I said no. She said " oh getting one just in case?" I said no. She then says "or are you counting them?". Isaid what are you talking about? She says I know your cheating on me. And continued to list the 4 times I've left the house for errands or hang out with friends. I said You know better, I'd never cheat on you. I got sucked into a conversation and at one point she said she could leave sooner than planned if needed. I said well nothing seems to be changing so over the next month we will just be further apart. The kids ended up coming into the room so we backed off the conversation. Later that afternoon she left and said she was going to babysit her friends 2 yr old for a bit. I went to help a buddy install a door. Around 6:30 I had not heard anything from her so I sent a text saying "I'm going to grab something to eat, would you like anything". Her response to the text was delayed so I take that as she is running it by her girlfriend. What do I say to him? I get an out of the ordinary "no thank you, I had a late lunch but thanks for asking". I don't respond and then get " I told you I won't be home" (typical wife response but she never did tell me this previously). At bed time I noticed her contact case and toothbrush was missing and thought, here we go. She is staying out tonight for the first time since I've learned of the A. Why would she stay at a married couples house that has a two year old? She could always go out and drink and ask me for a ride. I was tempted to go into the St.Patty's party and see if I see her proving my suspicion but thought it over. I did not want a confrontation and didn't know what I would gain...also got called into work early on a Sunday so I wanted to go to bed.

So here we are, I don't want her to sleep in my mbr any longer and hope she leaves earlier than planned but I'd like to talk to a lawyer before she leaves to make sure it all falls into place favoring myself vs the w. I'd love to have some of the long time posters advice, especially Sandi's. I now see that the NGS is one part of why I am here and I'm tired of being plan b. I don't have a problem filing for divorce but feel it's too early. I am concerned that she takes out a student loan and I'd be on the hook for half of the $40k this summer. I have also checked her credit card balance and it is higher than ever. Please help me out, following the DB rules doesn't seem to be helping and I'm 3/4 through DR.