Have you discussed changing the custody with your lawyer? I think you should get his/her advice before you make any changes. Taking this type of action, in hopes it will change your W's feelings......could backfire. Plus, how do you think it would make the older children feel?
Tell us about how ex W knew your current W back before your first divorce. Was this current W part of the problem in your M to first W? Did you start seeing the second W before you were legally D from the first M?
I honestly don't know if would help to ask your current out to dinner. As I previously said, I think you should avoid anything that suggests romance. Even referring to it as a "date" might be like waving a red cape at a angry bull.
If you have not expressed concerns about PPD to your in-laws by now, I really don't know if they would have much persuasion with her to see a doctor about it. It seems her mother would have said something to your W, if PPD occurred with previous childbirth and if it was noticeable this time around.
I think you are feeling very desperate to "do" something to see faster, more positive results. This type of fearful thinking can cause you to take action that you later regret. She has just recently changed her mind about giving you more days to stay in the house to visit the children. She has agreed to see the older children. She could just as easily change her mind to her previous decision. So, think carefully before you start applying pressure.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
