WW, A ended, but struggling to reconnect (My 11th)

[25yearsmlc]

And Just to get my bearings on your timeline -
So, are all these events and various OM's and EAs or whatever you call them, all going back to the fall of 2016?

There was one EA and one OM, commencing in early November 2016. I discovered it in late January 2017. It continued until late July 2017 and it is possible, though i have good reason to doubt, that it briefly became a PA sometime after February 2017.

Meaning, she had an affair, & kept at it for awhile, even after you confronted her? And you think it has probably ended for good. Correct?

From the thread it seems you are doing a lot of "marriage policing", which can be a soul sucking endeavor. Ugh.

There is and has been no affair with the doctor... it is (so far) just poor boundary setting.

why do you think it's not an affair? I'm just asking how you'd know.


Would you suggest i confront her specifically about the texts she does not know i went looking at? FWIW i think i have enough else to go on to insist she tighten things up.

I'm not sure what else you have, but if this is her boss, I'd want her to work elsewhere b/c it's way WAY out of bounds to text that type of thing to a boss or for him to text it to a subordinate.

Seriously, I'd be unable to stop the guessing if it were my spouse and that would eat away at any shred of self esteem or trust I was trying to build.

Also, if it were ME in your wife's shoes - and IF I really wanted my m to work out, I'd be loathe to engage in any behavior that might remotely be misconstrued.

Yet here, she's blatantly engaging in behavior that is dangerous to the m.

You don't want to show your cards and I get that. But leaving this alone is a recipe for disaster in my opinion.

I'm wondering if she has a pattern - and whether this is it.