Should i leave the house or stay?

[25yearsmlc]

I do not know why you'd enable her to go on a trip with a man.

I don't care if she says he's gay. First, 1) I do not believe he's gay, and

2) second, even if he is, it's very inappropriate for a married woman to take a trip away from her son and h, with another man. Period. (Maybe she's laying the groundwork for other trips with other men, or maybe this is the OM.)

Certainly I don't think rolling over on that will re-attract her to you. I think just the opposite.

Of course you cannot stop her. You are not in control of her.

But what is with the wishy washy response when she asked?

IMO, when a wife asks her h if he's okay with her going on a trip with OM, she's practically begging for a boundary (AND OR consequence) to know how far she can push you

and you just said "farther...maybe"

I like she wants to see IF there are any limits to what she can do around you. Any boundaries.

Boundaries are about what YOU will tolerate, what YOU will accept. You are not drawing boundary lines around her, you are drawing them around You.

If she brings him into the home and says he's just giving her a "massage" in the bedroom,
what then?

If she doesn't come home at night, and shrugs when you ask her WTH is going on, what then?

Is there anything she could do that would cause you to leave the home or marriage?

I am asking if you have any internal boundary or line beyond which she cannot go.


Think about it...

As for the sexual interests she displays to you and which you reject (& it IS rejection, whatever the reason),

I am not very clear about your hopes with this course of action. What conditions are you attaching to intimacy, a deep emotional connection?

I certainly get that. But I'm a woman.

I don't get what you expect or want to happen because of this rejection.

Is it that you think she'll 1) realize that she wants you,

2) and then she will spontaneously decide to recommit to the marriage, and

3) after a period of some undetermined time, IF you feel safe enough, then you will resume an active sexual life?

I'm literally just asking.