Just a Vanilla change 36

[Vanilla]

I understand and accept what you say Kml and focus.

Being slim all my life (apart from briefly when I had steroids after cancer in 2001) until the G and pneumonia. I mean slim, lighter than average, fit and athletic, able to move and comfortable in my skin.

I am 15lbs over weight and am used to being 7 lbs below ideal. I decided that simoly being 7lbs over would be ok. But 21lbs over where I want to be makes me uncomfortable.

I am not comfortable in my skin like this and yes I know that this might not be logical or ideal, it's the way I feel about me. I rationalise it, and have never really faced this before as I have always been slim and confident. And when I put on weight it was protective of me, the G didn't like it. But today I fear this is holding me back.

I truly would like to think that way kml but I decided my energy would be better placed resolving the weight issue rather than unravelling the mess of thought spaghetti.

I know the dynamic, it isn't lack of awareness of it. I have lost much of the weight (180).

Kml I don't have curves, just lumps. Many gorgeous, gorgeous women look lovely with extra weight. Stunning in fact.

I looked better at 30 to 40 lbs overweight than I do now at 21lbs over my ideal As you said luscious. That's sort of strange I suppose.

Focus I will enjoy being fit and having my ordinary body back, that will give me my confidence in that area. My confidence is OK now in other areas most of the time!

I believe in walking to the pain though and this one is complex and intermittent.

V