maybe you never truly leave here

[25yearsmlc]

it's good to hear all this^^^, as my xh (divorce final 3 weeks ago) will be getting married soon. Or so I hear.

And it bothers me. I wish that it did not. And in my HEAD, I know he's a fool and that I'm better off without him. I have to remember things (below) to let what I know in my head, sink into my heart.

He was deceitful for a LONG time ,and he was cruel to me and our children.

Dropping college tuition for our d20, and doing it with more lying, ("I'm retiring" - I hired a PI and he was going to work and his name was on the surgery center where he's a physician) was just cruel.

I don't know how HE can come back from that without a ton of humility, which h does not do, and time consuming effort, which he also won't do -unless it's "all done & better!" in a day or two. That is his limit for "working" on a relationship.

Reading that^^^ shows me that I'm truly better off.

It is my - inappropriate - fear that he will suddenly be better for OW, and the anger I feel about his cheating and acting happy, that I need to work on.
And I'm not crazy about OW who must know he's not spoken to me OR our kids in well over a year.

I'd be freaked out and repelled by a man who had NO contact with his ex of 35 years, and none of his adult children. Then again, if she's a total loser morally, she's aiming at his money and glad she won't have to share it with our children. Not a "great love" there.

Guess they are both of the same caliber. Maybe that is their karma.

Oh, on a sidenote -

I found a book about Christian Fathers...a book xh probably got but did not read, as he'd hope it dictates that I "obey" him to move back to Alaska and say nothing relevant to HIM.

And Alaska is where HE HAD to be b/c only there, could he be happy...and RICH, (which is the same thing for him.)

But the comment that amazed me, which xh MUST NOT have read or believed, was

"the most important gift a father can give his children, is to be loving to their mother."

For sure xh never read that.