Thanks, all, for the suggestions and encouragement. I agree, Nopkins, waiting to "see what will happen" all evening after planting the suggestion gives her all the control, but for now I can't really figure out what to do differently. I'd have a hard time asking for a direct answer, but that is part of what I intend to discuss with her - how she would like me to initiate, and the fact that I would appreciate a more direct response rather than having to wait all evening "to see how it turns out." I could handle a direct "I'm not really up to it tonight, could we do it tomorrow?" Maybe she just doesn't think I could handle that, or that it would lead to a fight.
The thing is, at the moment she doesn't seem to have the ability to be seduced, at least by me. It just doesn't seem to cross her mind that I would try to seduce her. So cuddling and kissing, in her mind, isn't linked with seduction, which doesn't leave me too many options other than to come out and ask. Mojo, I have absolutely NO idea how to be seductive with her. You're right, I think that kind of thing is WAY harder for a man, because society just doesn't teach us that men can be seductive, except in the James Bond mold, and that's not me at all, it just isn't. Plus, that would tend to get pretty expensive...
My main goal for this week was to ML more than once in the week, and also to see what happens if I push the "known boundaries" a bit. I think she is still very much in the mindset that LM is something "special" that "should" only happen once in a while, "when the time is right", whereas my viewpoint is that it is an important type of loving communication between two partners. As for the tone of the approach, I think it's difficult to strike just the right chord - stating the desire without sounding demanding or needy. "Can we ML tonight?" still puts too much control in HER hands, ditto with "Would you like to...?" (I think I know what her standard answer to THAT would be...), but "I would very much like to..." states the desire while leaving options open. That just says I would like to, with no "expectations" or "demands" on her, but you're right, it does require a response. I'm very much still figuring this stuff out.
Quote: It could be W is reacting to your differentiation by building a new barrier (day's delay) thus resulting in a new gridlock position.
That's very much what I'm thinking...
Quote: Both you and I know that your sister would greatly benefit from this forum but you'd be wise not to suggest it given the level of detail you provide in your posts!
