Beginning

[MJontheMend]

Tim,it sounds like you're really proceeding from a stance of strength and differentiation. That's great!

I feel I was in the same sich as you this past weekend when I went ahead and tried to initiate though I knew my H was stressed out and we had just had sex recently. I was successful because I maintained a level of differentiation but also I think because I "lent"my H some sexual functionality by being over-the-top seductive. It's harder to figure out how a HDH could "lend" sexual functionality to his LDW. Also, I'm not sure if it's always the right approach. If my H can only get turned on when I'm super-seductive, he will never have to deal with his own issues concerning arousal.

I don't necessarily think your wife's delay is a bad thing.She might know herself well enough to realize that she has to have time to self-soothe anxieties and fantasize into the mood before she can feel sexual. Maybe you could push her just a little bit next time by saying something like " I am so attracted to you,I really don't want to wait that long. If I give you some free time right now by taking care of x,y,z responsibilities, do you think you could try to relax into the mood in a couple hours?"