Trying to do the right thing...

[OC_Hope]

Thank you MarvinF, I couldn't help but think of that scene from Vacation where the dog was leashed to the rear bumper... that's about the clearest and most accurate expression of what's happened thus far.

The stress, anxiety, sleeplessness and outright non-performance at work has gotten me to where I am today. Taking hydroxyzine and Prozac while living on the scraps of food stamps and unemployment.

I'm better than this.

Had to take a hard look at myself and realize this is not the life I want to lead for me or the example I set for the kids. I need to have my head in the game right now, so I can provide.

As for the dropping of the rope and not rescuing her being EXACTLY how I help her rescue herself, it's also EXACTLY what I need to do to rescue myself today.

This stuff is hard, but I'm learning... Just wish it had been a few months or a year faster! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

At this very moment, my struggle is staying focused. It's been four months since I lost my job, and trying to apply for jobs or update my resume seem like monumental tasks at times. It's easier to make another sandwich or take another nap

Don't get me wrong, I've made some efforts... I've had some work opportunities sent my way, however, they required me to relocate out west again – I just can't fathom moving these kids again. They've been through too much.

SO... I'm asking for accountability here.

I'm updating my resume. I'm going to reach out to contacts and ask for help.

Can you guys stay on me? Help me stay the course?

anyway... I'm not having a great moment, just trying to overcome the depression that's seemingly crept up.