This really [censored]... today she was home for lunch and then had to leave again briefly after... i told her that i thought it was kind of sad that she is almost never home (since i DO miss her at times) and then she kinda reciprocated by saying that she really doesn't like this situation either and that it is ME who is keeping her at distance and that she doesn't know how long she can take this!
UGH, yeah well, of course i keep her at a distance after what has happened??? She doesn't realize that her heart isn't in it and that she is not "free" for me right now. She is a total mess, constantly tired, depressed, yet is chasing the next kick by going away for a weekend with a friend or by going to the gym every day or whatever.
The thing is: She tells me that by pushing her away like i am supposedly doing, i will destroy our chances at an eventual getting back together. I CANNOT however, bring myself to get back together with her romantically as that would require a level of trust, of intimacy that just is not THERE atm? So we are both stuck neither here nor there.
At a loss here
I guess riding it out is really the ONLY course of action here right? I doubt she would be willing to go to therapy with me...
I don't even wanna ask anymore as that puts pressure on her again and pushes her away even further.
