Quote: I'm afraid you might be trying to take some of the sting out what you are about to do by saying these things and it might be indicative of lingering fears.
Yeah, I think you're right, Dave. I'm finding out that this stuff is real easy to talk about... much harder to actually do.
Last night was interesting. W increased my respect for her immeasurably by taking a shower while S18's GF was in the house! You have to understand... we don't have a large house, just a small bungalow, and S18&GF were in the Family Room which is downstairs, and from there you can clearly hear the water running in the bathroom upstairs. So for W to take a shower under those conditions was really something. However, when GF left and it was time for "bedtime", things went a little differently. First of all, it was a bit of a challenge getting myself and W off the couch and in motion towards the bedroom. Once we got there (after much additional prep on W's part), and she saw I was serious about wanting the light on, she was immediately on the attack. She was all "You're not being fair, hitting me with all this stuff at once... isn't it enough that we're going to do it, do we really have to have the light on..." etc. So I knew right then that we weren't going to do it last night. At first I said "Okay, let's turn the light out", but as soon as we were in total darkness I knew I wasn't going to go ahead with it - it just wouldn't have worked. As she got into bed, she once again "explained to me" how on this particular night, leaving the light on was "just too much", NOT that she has a problem with it, mind you, but just not TONIGHT... so I said "Trouble is, with the light off it just doesn't do anything for me - I don't want to do it that way anymore." So there it was. I said if it had to be with the light off, I'd just as soon skip it.
She said she didn't know "why it had to be tonight", and I said that with the next day being Mother's Day, plus the 3-hour season finale of Survivor (which she's VERY much into), I said I thought she'd have an easier time tonight, but she said that tomorrow night (Sunday night) would actually be better for her, because "nobody has to go anywhere", etc., so I said fine, let's do it tomorrow night then. We then talked a bit (I talked a bit) about the Quantum model, and how I was trying to increase the EC so as to allow us to have a better marriage. I also told her about Hugging Till Relaxed, and said I thought it might be a good thing for us to try. Then she went back to the living room to read and wait for DD20's call that she was ready to come home, while I went to sleep. DD20 and her friends apparently waited outside the bar for 2 hours before finally getting inside, just an hour and a half before closing.
All in all an interesting evening. We met GF's mother when she came to pick her up. She and her husband are apparently splitting up - GF has been telling S18 about it. Sad... I wish we could help, but no way I'm getting in the middle of something like THAT...
