Quote: Quote Tim: "...and that the way things have been going, if that continues there won't be much of anything to celebrate." This doesn't sound very differentiated to me Tim.
On the contrary, SD, it was an honest statement of boundaries from me to her. I was telling her in plain language that I am not going to "wait", I am going to change, and she then has a choice: defend the status quo, or come with me on the adventure.
I'm pretty proud of myself at the moment: supper tonight was just 3 of us - me, W and S12 (S18 and DD20 are working till 8:30). S12 finished first and left the table. I stayed and talked with W. As she was finishing, I was asking about S18's and DD20's plans for the evening - it seems S18 is having GF over for a while, and DD20 is going out... but first having some friends over "to get ready". Tomorrow being Mother's Day, W was also planning to bake a chocolate angel-food cake from a recipe she found (low-fat). More on that later.
Anyway, I said "If I go pick up DD20 and S18 from work, do you think you could take a shower before S18's GF comes over?" She knew what I was asking. I even confirmed it by saying "I've already had a shower, and I'm thinking that if you get yours out of the way early, then later it's one thing we won't have to think about, so we can..." (sorry, I'm not yet differentiated enough to actually say it! But she knew what I meant...)
So she says "Well, you don't have to pick up the kids... I can take a shower, and anyway I'll have to pick up DD20 from the bar tonight..." (starting to make an excuse), so I quickly said, "Well, what time would you be picking her up?" The answer was "around 2:00 am", so I just said "So much the better - that way we can make good use of time that would otherwise be 'dead time' - you'd be up just waiting around anyway."
So it looks like W and I are going to ML tonight, despite a very busy day and evening, despite S18 having GF over, despite DD20 being out, despite tomorrow being Mother's Day, despite the fact that it rained all day... oh, and despite W's cake not even getting off the ground... she discovered at the last minute she doesn't have cake flower OR the kind of pan the recipe calls for... she was really pissed off, but what can you do? I remained calm and helped her through it. I also helped her with the dishes... kept right up with her dish for dish... her washing, me drying.
Wait till she realizes that I'm even willing to sacrifice the session if she's not into it later or if she comes to it with an unhelpful frame of mind...
