What exactly did you tell her? I was thinking how nice it would be if I asked my W for sex, and she rejected me by giving me a BJ. I don't think that's going to work, however.
LOL. I repeated what Schnarch says. That "if you are going to reject me, that you make YOURSELF vulnerable...not me. By doing so, I won't mad or angry". HD (and everyone), THIS SHOULD BE EVERY HD'S FIRST STEP. Why? Because by asking them to make themselves vulnerable, it means that they have to look within themselves and circumnavigate the complex issues behind the rejection to come up with a simple "i'm sorry, but can we do it tomorrow?" type of response. The LDs have gotten so good at simply saying "no" as if on autopilot. This will make them actually "think" before they reject.
Quote:
I don't know you anymore. You're tearing this M apart
Excellent....keep doing it then. Those words, according to PM are an indicator that you are differentiating correctly. Don't let your W push you around with these scare tactics. I mean seriously, how can simply telling your W what you want out of the R "tear the R apart"?...that's a bunch of BS. She's trying to shut you down and keep you from differentiating. I will say that you have to make sure that your assertions are in nice, non threatening, non-confrontational way so that statements like that really seem out of context and odd. Knowing that her response is "textbook" will help you hold onto yourself in these situations.
How far through PM are you? It might take some drama in your household to get things back on track.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
