Thanks for the replies and the advice. Moderation has been tried before and there was minimal, short term success. I believe that it was more "white knuckling" than any true effort at recovery though. It saddens me to know that I have been replaced by the bottle, and that it is more important than our family.
When I was drinking, nothing would stop me from getting my fix. I spent more money on it than anything else. The whole time I was at work I was thinking about what I was going to get, where I was going to get it, how I was going to consume it. It took over every part of my life.
I didn't plan anything that didn't involve drinking. There are so many sporting events, concerts, parties, get-togethers, dinners, and other events that I just flat out can't remember.
I remember one night 2 buddies and I went to a NBA game. Over the course of the evening I consumed an entire 1/5th of Jack Daniels.
I woke up at my buddy's house, didn't know how I got there. My pants were ripped wide open up my right leg from my knee. My knee was bloody. (I had fallen, ripped my jeans at the knee, then later grabbed the ripped and ripped them further all the way up. I was on his couch, and on the coffee table in front of me he had left a big glass of water, and the empty fifth bottle.
No telling how much money I spent that night and couldn't remember a single moment other than sitting in the back of the vehicle on the way there pounding drinks.
You're right, to an alcoholic there is no such thing as moderation. If she isn't ready to give it up then she isn't ready for recovery. I had some major embarrassments that finally woke me up to my problem. 24 years sober now and I don't miss it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
