I have been feeling absolutely awful about myself physically. I don't even want to look in the mirror. I realize I have kind of let go really taking care of appearance. Sure, I wear makeup and dress clothes to work, but I hate it. ON the weekends, I ma in workout clothes I Cannot stand the extra weight on me. I hate not being able to work out. It has been so hard on me physically and mentally. I can't explain it. Everywhere I go, strangers actually comment on my limp. A guy at work saw me walking in the building the other day and said "oh my God, are you ok?!" he thought I hurt myself. I was a strong athletic woman. It's mostly gone. Now, I am partially handi-capped. ANd it emotionally hurts more than any of the physical discomfort.
Yesterday I decided to get my hair treatment so I can start doing it more often and just look and feel better. I am going to get a facial soon, as I have a gift-certificate. I have been intermittent fasting this week to get some of this weight off of me. I might even get my nails done again. I want to feel somewhat attractive, because I am know I am not reflecting it on the inside or outside.
Work has been a morale destroyer too. We are all looking for other jobs. We think the woman we hate is going to be announced as manager next week. Our job has changed to where everyone dumps their garbage problems on our department. I have 2 applications out there for internal transfer and I am keeping my fingers crossed. I can't go on the vacation I was planning on going with my friends because of their dumb rules around these roll outs. We were told yesterday we better start using our vacation in april and may because we are going to have lot of black out months and we will lose out vacation. The good news is I decided to rebook my FL trip for the first weekend in May. I am excited for that. Shouldn't be any nor'easters, but who knows!
This was just my vent. I still count my blessings. But it's hard not feeling good physically and emotionally.
