First post, need someone to listen

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Yes, some of you decided to judge me. I am cool with that and respect that.

Im very sorry if you felt that I judged you. To me, what happened in the past isnt that important....what IS important is what you can learn from your past behaviors to improve your future.

I believe until you address your own internal issues, your next relationship will end up back here. Whether thats after a second reconciliation with your wife or with a new girl. Youve already been down this road once with your W, and Im not sure why this time would be any different yet. I cant see where youve indicated what you have learned or how this time would be different. It very much comes across as what Sandi wrote:

You only know you don't want to feel what you feel today.

I dont think there is anything WRONG with you. But I think you are showing a pattern of behaviors which can be destructive to your relationship. Until you can root out those issues, I am worried about the possibility for you to have success with your partner - whoever she might be.

The root of DB is about changing ourselves.

I welcome change, because it is up to me to welcome and accept it.

So let's talk about this. What changes are you making? What goals do you have for InFocus2.0?

While she was not receptive, I had to say it. It cleared the air on my intentions to stand by her forever...even if she decides our marriage is over. I do not want that but I am man enough to love without want or need.

So....you say you 'had to say it'. But.....why?
What are your goals? If it is to reconcile your M, then anyone here would have told you that this is only going to hurt your chances. You say this was loving without wanting or needing, but sending a note like this sounds like it was for your needs.



We all want you to succeed. I hope that you will keep posting. AT the very least, I hope that you take this opportunity to really do some work in the mirror. Who is InFocus and what do you want for him?