First, you need to realize that her reptilian brain was in control and probably in conflict with the neocortex. It's just that when we are tired, the reptile takes over. I've now learned that I have to make my intentions way more clear than physical initiation because my W, after 7pm is in reptile mode and likes to be hypnotized by the 32" flashing box. The physical signals are getting processed by the reptile and not be allowed to be processed in the neocortex. It simply requires that you tell her what you want to do. Remember my post about my W not thinking the "initiation" meant something sexual was the end result? The LD mind has some defense mechanisms that seem childlike. Give yourself a break. It sounds like its going to take a little more pressure. The best "differentiation" exercise I did was telling my W how I want to be rejected. It sounds like you are about to tell her how to interpret your signals. Hang in there. Things will work out. Don't expect anything this weekend just because she knows you wanted it last night. The pressure of that knowledge will be playing havoc with her and her reptile will be fighting her best intentions.
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It does cause me to think, however, that whereas I've been feeling a growing emotional connection with her this week, perhaps SHE has not been noticing it to the same extent, so I'm definitely going to have to talk with her to find out more about this.
This is something I talked to my W about because she doesn't feel any "more" connection than she used to. She sees it as *me* becoming more connected at a level closer to hers. It might just not be a priority to be "more" connected for our Ws yet. I'm trying to figure this one out.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
