I was looking for a picture of d20 but came upon a short video of xh. In it, I was filming and egging him on in an act out, and he was pretty darn funny. In the video, I was laughing so hard I could not hold the camera still.
True, I missed THAT version of xh. Or that time we had. But it was more of a wistful feeling, and not such a gut punch grief.
No tears, no sick feeling. Not even wondering about him much, though the question of "does he ever miss the laughs, the way I do?" did arise.
I'm funnier than him (not bragging, just saying) and made him laugh a lot. And he did the same for me, and there's no way - really - that he is laughing as much now. Nor am I.
So yes, I still have those moments. But they don't wrack my brain, and I am shrugging it off more.
I have faith that I'll be with a man who laughs hard with me. For now, it's enough to have my friends and family laughing with me.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
