Quote: And she didn't know what you were up to? I don't buy it.
Yeah, I don't completely buy it either, but for now I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. I have been being a LOT more cuddly this week, and I'm willing to believe she just thought I was doing more of that. It is entirely possible for both participants in a particular encounter to experience it in completely different ways, which is something I learned from PM, so I'm willing to believe that was the case last night, especially since she was tired, and she has been wrestling with allergies lately, although that does seem a lot better in the past day or so (which was one reason I was so hopeful about last night). But the fact remains that I was not very up-front about it, I just thought she'd pick up on my "vibes", which I was definitely feeling. She didn't, or she ignored it, so my assumption at the moment is that I have been experiencing this increasing EC, but maybe she hasn't. So it's time to discuss it, and get to where we're on the same page about it. I don't want her to be able to pretend that things are all fine and dandy when they're not, and I don't want to continue feeling like we're in sync when we're not. I know we can't be in sync ALL the time, but we need to get to where we can "read" each other better - that's part of increasing the EC.
The fact that I was able to think this through and not feel PERSONALLY rejected (or at least get PAST that feeling) shows me that I am definitely less dependant on her validation of my sexuality and sexiness. I know I am a sexy guy, and I know I can turn a woman on, I don't need her to validate that for me. However, I do have certain expectations of how a marriage should be, and I'm now going to be standing up for those beliefs and expectations, and letting her know in no uncertain terms just where my boundaries are. It'll be interesting to see how she chooses to respond...
