Thank you all for your support and feedback – I am so encouraged by everyone’s positivity (not hopeful and I expect nothing) and a part of me remains realistic about the possible outcome. And the drama continues and I continue to be angry and unsettled…… After me speaking my mind the other night (see previous post), I received an email from him saying that his thoughts are all over the place and that he can’t make sense of or accept where we are. He says that we lost each other somehow and for some length of time over the end of 2016 and into 2017 (why didn’t he tell me???) and then he goes on to say that he reached beyond our marriage, in belief that I had stopped wanting to see us (and again I am blamed for his choices!!!). He says he can’t take it back and he knows it can’t be forgotten and that he doesn’t see a way to make me happy in the future (he doesn’t really want to try either…!!!). He says he cares deeply for me and is horrified by the pain he has caused and that he is unable to tell me that it is over between us but if it will me move on then he will contact a lawyer this week (blame again???) He finishes it off by saying that despite what his actions suggest, he will never move me out of his heart (yeah right……that’s why he is living with someone else!!!) What I don’t get is why he just doesn’t walk away and live the life he has obviously chosen – I have given him every opportunity to walk away from our marriage and call it a day (something else he could blame me for if he chose to) but he won’t. The way I see it, is that at least I have a fantastic new job (promotion) and a new place to stay so I am moving out of the area - I am doing this for ME and my sanity as I have to continue my journey (alone for the time being) and find myself again.
