Well, I did try to initiate last night, but nothing happened, in part because I didn't have the courage to "put myself out there" and be explicit enough.
First of all, the evening didn't start out auspiciously. Before supper, S12 wanted to watch a video, but he put the tape in backwards and it got stuck in the machine. So now we have to bring the machine to the shop to see if they can get the tape out. S12 is going to pay at least part of the cost. So that was some aggrivation neither of us needed. Aside from that, there was nothing major, but the early evening was far from tranquil at our house.
However, we then spent most of the next 3 hours sitting on the couch, during which time I left NO doubt (I thought) as to my intentions. I was not just cuddling her... I was caressing her inner thighs, her arms, her tummy, and occasionally brushing a breast or her crotch. I would also at times run my fingers over her neck, and let them dip down into the top of her shirt, caressing her bare chest above the breasts (just the upper chest near the base of the neck). I thought I was feeling her respond. I was certainly getting turned on.
During this time we watched Survivor and the Friends finale. S18 was out, and came home around 9:30. After Friends, I really should have said something like "I would really like to ML with you tonight", but I didn't, because I thought she was on the same wavelength. But Leno came and went, and then she said "Well, it's time for bed... (yawn) - I am so tired..." and that was that.
While preparing for bed, I was definitely disappointed, and had to self-soothe, at which point I decided I would stand up for myself and speak to her about it. When she came to bed, we had something like the following convo:
Me: When we were sitting on the couch tonight, were you thinking that I wanted to ML with you tonight?
W: No.
Me: Oh, okay... that explains it. Because I did, and I was trying to initiate tonight. I was making things all cuddly, and caressing you...
W: I was just so tired tonight, and all day I was stressed out, and...
Me: I know... I'm tired too. But if we have to wait for the perfect time...
W: We don't have to wait for "the perfect time", but...
Me: I guess I need to be more forthcoming...
Anyway, I'm out of time at the moment, but that's the flavor of it. The best part is that the conversation was matter-of-fact, and didn't turn into a big fight, which it would have before. Later, I'll post some major differences in ME and how the "old me" would've handled this, vs. the "new me"...
