Well, the call didn't happen the original night, I was too sick, coughing every time I spoke. But it did happen last night.
And by your definition, I guess I failed. But I discussed it with some friends, and maybe I didn't. We did have a mature adult conversation about my concerns. I was very open and honest, and I do believe he was too. I'll spare the details, but he absolutely understand where I am coming from, even saying himself I have these concerns because of the way I am raising my daughter and how I live for more than myself. He basically wants to help himself. He wants to feel good and wants to make lifestyle changes. He opened up a lot, and I saw some passion there. About the things he does love in life 9aside from video games) and how he is content doing sales as long as he isn't selling BS and he could come home at the end of the day feeling like he made a difference.
I have been honest with guys in my life. I was honest with the first guy I had real feelings for, and it never ended in my favor. It was always a "I can't give you that". I was honest with exNG about what I needed from him. He already had someone waiting in the wings, so he was able to just say goodbye. My exH was a whole other story. But when I became true and hones tot myself, that was when he quit.
But I gotta give props for this guy for not getting defensive, for understanding, for opening up, and for wanting to try. I think I would almost be a fool to not give a guy who listened, understood, and agreed and wants to make a change a chance. He also said, without my prompting, "I know talk is cheap and seeing an actual change is what you need".
I also told him in no way would I be his "mommy" telling him not to eat this and not to eat that, that all choices he makes for him are for him because he wants to.
And I was very very very honest to tell him I know how he has a "problem" that he has the power to fix, but he is choosing not to, and that is shows me he couldn't care about me. He said he didn't know him not taking care of it was hurtful to me.
So, Yeah, I guess I failed. But I really don't have much to lose giving him a chance. I either become attracted, or I don't and he is not for me. He has his good qualities where he is patient and understanding of the fact I can't see him all that often in the upcoming weeks, and that I probably won't be ready to introduce D10 in a long time.
OK, so maybe I did detail it a bit.
Oh, and Don, our "sleepovers" which have been few, I do not feel has made any difference one way or another.
And thanks for the name. My cousin kindly named him Mr. Softee.
