But I did learn that H thinks I don't care anymore, he says I don't seem to care about him because I don't ask him at all how he's doing through any of this, I don't talk to him about anything. [/s] So he sees me detaching as "more of the same" and that I've moved on.
this is what you are not getting... let him think that... he is out the door... YOU NEED TO DETACH... HE NEEDS TO DEAL WITH YOUR DETACHMENT... YOU NEED TO LET HIM DEAL WITH YOUR DETACHMEHT... he is all over the place... he is playing with your emotions... he is blaming you for all of it... this is all on him... but you just keep tossing dirt on yourself, making yourself look pathetic... it is not a good look... i'm sorry, Meg... i know that's harsh... but my desire is to help you see that you need to value yourself more... especially more than he does... but you keep mirroring back to yourself the way he sees you... get a spine, Mollie! (i call my gal pals Mollie sometimes)... we keep telling you to let him go... he himself has told you that you cannot do anything to appease him... so stop trying...
Meg, please go back and read BluWave's initial post to you... it is a gem... you are blessed to have had her share her real-life experience, her wisdom with you... but you have not received it... go back and read it... and follow it...
i am sorry but when all hell broke lose the other day, i think you should have tossed H's a$$ out door... enough if enough... he has your entire household in turmoil... he is not being fair to you nor your sons... and you are not being fair to your sons...
