Your subject, rollercoaster, drew my attention. That was my experience two years ago when I was going through all this.
First of all, you didn't blow it. We all make mistakes, plenty of them. It's not the end.
Second, my W and I got back together because her affair was doomed from the start. Just like your H and the OW. It won't last, so just sit tight and be the woman he's be a fool to leave. You'll look better while OW will start making mistakes.
My W also told me she missed me all the time. Sit tight and keep going. It will require patience on your part. Lots of it.
How far away are you moving? I'd say, let him know. Not as a ploy but because it's a fact. I haven't read your whole story, so I'm confused about how you can be doing this, but don't think of it as a strategy, just as a fact that he, as your H, should know.
Your current marriage may be dead, but don't lose hope that this could turn around! My situation did. If you can afford it, get a DB coach. I got such good advice from my coach.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
