My opinion, based on what IC have said, is that they don't know what they want.
I think you nailed it, those exact words came out of my wife when she dropped the bomb on me. I am thankful her anger and resentment towards me seems to have backed off even I know it's still there ( she can't handle stress and when the girls start getting on her nerves, her nastyness towards me and life starts to shows).
Me:37 W:42 T:14 yrs M:10.5 yrs D:7 D:5 BD: 1/6/18 OM Discovered: 1/29/18 WW moved out 5/12/18
