Hi Black, I've read your posts, but there doesn't seem to be much information about your marital history. What were the problems in your MR?
Is your W allowing you to see the children equal time.....or only seven days out of a month?
Have you had a follow up meeting with your lawyer since the second separation? Do you have legal advice about your rights as a father?
You said it is your W's house, so Is she currently living in the marital home? Has your lawyer advised you what to do, since she won't let you stay at home but seven days a month?
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I asked to live with her family members and they accepted if I am no there.
Could you explain what this means, please? ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Do you have no family of your own that lives close? Could you afford a one-room apartment?
Quote:
Just wish they could talk sense into her, but Sandi’s rules say don’t talk to family
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The "rules" are simply a guideline for people who have just joined the board and don't know which way to turn or how to interact with their spouse, etc. They are not some type of dye hard law you are expected to follow if there is an extreme exception in your situation where the parents need to know what's going on. This "rule" was in reference of trying to get marriage advice from friends and family or get them to intervene on your behalf, or for the sake of the M.
The rule says, "Do not ask for help from family members or friends. Don't discuss private matters with them that would upset your spouse". Some H's talk about very private matters to family and friends. He vents when he is upset, or he wants them to help help him. See what I mean? It could actually prevent the W wanting to reconcile, or if the couple should reconcile, it could cause tension and other problems between the W and her in-laws, etc. Also, friends and family are usually biased, so you may not get impartial advice.....or the best advice for your situation. Blood is thicker than water, so in most cases, family will stick by their blood relatives, whether or not they agree with them.
If there is a serious health issue........for instance, or if your W shows signs of mental illness, or you are concerned for the safety of the children..........this would definitely be an exception where you would alert her family about your concerns, (especially, if they are unaware anything is wrong). But from what you've said, they have live with her at some point, right? So, have they mentioned any concerns to you about your W?
If you mean you are wanting them to "talk sense into her" so that you can live at home again......they may not want to get involved in the M problems, or they may even support the separation. I don't know the background situation, so it's a lot of speculation.
Do her parents currently live in her house, or does she live with them?
Your M has been in trouble in the past, and you turned to a DB coach. Were you seeing the same signs as you see this time? It is very difficult to help when we really have no clue about what brought the MR to this place. Please give us some marital history.
I hope you post a lot.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
