This weekend was supposed to be the paint party that I was hoping to get to spend some time talking with gg, but one of the girls (the attractive but way to young; more on that in a minute) in our group was performing in a jazz concert.
So I wanted to talk through Aby (attractive but young). Aby has been part of the singles group since our first get together, while she is physically attractive, what I have found most attractive about her is her outgoing personality and confidence in herself. I never could figure out how old Aby is, my best guess is early to mid 20's, her excitement of life seems consistent with someone that age. Her stories about the acting/singing activities she has going on make me think she’s involved in something like a drama club at college. While we have conversed here and there, I’ve never had a real conversation with her, so I only know what she has shared about herself in the group setting.
The jazz performance that we went to was at a local college, which also enforced my belief that she was in that age group. Well, after the performance we went out for apps and drinks. There were a couple of new people there, so we decided to do a little “get to know you” activity called two truths and a lie. We had done this once before at our first get together, and at that time Abys two truths and a lie were 1) I have swam with sharks.. 2) I have swam with sting rays.. 3) I have swam with dolphins. I remember this because I have swam with sharks and dolphins, but never with rays, turns out the lie was with sharks but only because the day she had scheduled to do so the weather was bad and they couldn’t go out.
Well, during this night out, her two truths and a lie were 1) I have walked through a pyramid in Egypt.. 2) I have dived at the great barrier reef.. 3) I have climbed Mt. Fuji.. This really caught my attention, because I was really impressed at the magnitude of these events. I guessed that the reef was the lie, only because I thought it was so far away from Egypt and Japan, but later looked at a map and found they are all far from each other. Anyway, she said that while she had visited Australia, she did not dive the barrier reef. I made a comment to the lady I was sitting next to (who has closest R with Aby) that I was so impressed that someone still in school has done so much in her life. Well, turns out Aby isn’t a student, she is a performing arts teacher at the school we went to, and the other members in the jazz band were her students, not peers. She also mentioned that Aby has never been M and doesn’t have kids, so she has a lot of freedom to have these experiences. Oh, btw, Aby summited Mt. Fuji when she lived in Japan for a year, and then proceeded to speak in Japanese to someone else that knew a little.
I have no expectation of getting together with Aby, I just wanted to share all of this because I was so wrong in my “judgement” of how old she is, although I still don’t actually know her age.
Now, about not reaching out because of the womans age… by the way, I’ve been thinking about going to see a counselor to help me navigate what it is that I really want in someone, but until I decide to, I’m just using this forum to talk through my thoughts.
I’m also struggling with figuring out how I feel about dating someone younger. I look young for my age, in high school my nickname was Babyface, which sucked in HS but as I’ve gotten older it’s not so bad. I couldn’t say how old I “look”, I can only say that I think I look much younger than other people that I know are my age. On top of my looks, I am a pretty free spirit. I’m not a stickler for the rules, for the most part am willing to do things outside of my comfort zone, I can just go with the flow and I don't have discussions about the weather or medical conditions..
Anyway, back to younger females. I guess the youngest I have been able to wrap my head around dating is 35yrs old (10 yrs. younger), but I often read age is just a number being said here and wonder if I’m limiting myself for the wrong reasons. For instance, I met Country 2 weeks ago, I guessed that she is around 25 yrs old, I wanted to ask for her number, I wanted to talk to her again but I talked myself out of it. I don’t know if my hesitation is the “stigma” of an older man dating a younger woman, or if it is something else. I don’t want to be involved with someone that would be held back because of me (like starting a family), but I feel like I may be holding back on opportunities for a good time by making decisions that aren’t mine to make. In other words, maybe Country has no interest in having kids, just wants to enjoy life (maybe has a love of the things I enjoy) and we would have a great time together, but I ended that possibility before it had a chance because I just decided “she’s too young for me”.
Let’s face it, the idea with being with someone younger is sexy, and I wouldn’t mind just having fun for awhile.. I like the idea of finding someone for a LTR/M, but I DO NOT feel pressure to find that someone right now, I’d definitely be down for just having fun for awhile. _________________________ M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Last edited by job; 03/12/1810:52 AM. Reason: edited to add quotes
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
