Spring Cleaning

[DonH]

I don't think you've failed Ginger - at least not yet and at least not with this. Now if you let him talk you into seeing him again or continuing to date, then yes, you will have failed. I think it's good that you were honest with him. That is productive and may help him. Of course I'm speaking from my point of view. I'd love to know if there are things I'm doing that turn women off - not for the current woman but for the future. But that's me. Talking with him on the phone is okay - especially since you didn't want to do this over text. Just because the norm today may be to do things like text message break ups does not mean we all need to start doing that.

All that said, dont get into a long discussion on the phone tonight. Tell him how you feel, that this decision is final, that you wish him the best, but FOR YOU, he is not a match. Don't do a half hour convo, etc. that's a fail. So far I don't think it is.... Well except for this...

Why did you let it go this far? If anything is a fail, that may be. Other than perhaps one date, you knew all along he was not anything serious. It's great and the right thing to have given him a chance - as in another date or two. But somehow that turned into weekend sleep overs. That's very confusing to me. Imagine what it's like for him? This is why I think talking to him a bit is the right thing to do. That's just me. Three dates does not = much discussion. Multiple sleep overs = at least some break up talk. Call me old fashioned, it's just how I'd feel and what I'd do. I also think far higher of anyone who did that for me.

So the real pass/fail test is tonight. You owe nothing more than about five minutes on the phone - and only that because you agreed to it. Do not feel sorry for him and if you do, you'll only make it worse giving him false hope. Be firm.