Im sorry that youre here. You wont find a better place out here.
That said, if Im reading correctly, your wife has been carrying on an affair for over a year while living with OM and you are still in this night-on night-off routine. What is the long term plan here? Are you just waiting for her to tell you what shes going to do? Or do you have your own ambitions?
As for the finances, what is your strategy? How are you allowing her to have access to your money while engaged in a relationship with someone else?
As for parenting, what is your long term plan? I hope you are documenting her behaviors in preparation of any future custody discussion.
How about your GAL. You say you are a different person from 18 months ago. Can you share more details?
Originally Posted By: WillyO
I say absolutely nothing about the lies, debt, entitlement, irresponsibility with the kids. My family says I'm enabling her behavior. I feel like I'm the "friend guy" from the divorcebusting.com testimonials.
Do you disagree with them? To me, this sounds so incredibly enabling. Shes trashing your name and credit and you are just letting it happen? And being OK with any kind of parenting? How is that setting up a good co-parenting relationship going forward?
Originally Posted By: WillyO
If I set boundaries, she blows right through them.
Do you have any examples? If she 'blows right through them', then they arent really boundaries. They are set to control her.
Originally Posted By: WillyO
She borrows money from me frequently (half the time repays) despite having a fair salary.
And why do you keep saying OK?
Originally Posted By: WillyO
I feel like divorce would set firm boundaries that she would be legally obligated to keep.
I disagree that DIVORCE will do that. If you cant enforce them, then nothing is going to change if your legal status changes.
To me, it seems like you are willing to lay down and be a doormat in hopes that your wife will appreciate all youve done for her. That isnt likely to happen unless the other relationship blows up and she comes running to you as a fallback plan.
