Notes: I follow all of Sandi's rules except #6 and #33. I desperately need help from my family with the kids and also mental support. She has had no contact with my family since November 2016 and refuses to do anything that involves them.
I've gone dark for a long time, with the exception of acknowledging her birthday and Christmas. I treat her as I would treat an acquaintance.
I've become much better at validation, but it was a struggle early on.
I have always been a super involved dad and taken significant responsibility in the house. I didn't do anything for myself; that has changed in the last year.
"For Newcomer LBH with a Wayward Wife" is powerful - thanks!
I've worked hard to detach. I suppose I rescue her more than I should. I'm not sure what to do when she says she can't pay the day care, or says she doesn't have money for gas though...
I buy the food that she eats.
I haven't pursued in many months (9?), other than a card for Valentine's day and a gift for Christmas. I will occasionally purchase chocolate or other things that she likes.
Her dad had multiple affairs and she claims he sexually abused her.
