Re-Detaching

[RR17]

Unlike love which is a choice, detaching has two elements the physical and the emotional....

Thank you, V. I have been meaning to take the time to expand on this. I feel that sometimes when a person asks a question on here and the well-meaning people simply assume that you don't understand the concept. I agree with you 100%. There are 2 elements to detachment. IMO


Besides who wants to debate the merits of describing an understanding of a subject that is subjective at best and most definitely personal? Some of the concepts mean different things to different stichs and different people. IMO

If you are being honest with one's self, the mental/emotional aspect of detaching can be a decision to pursue, but you can't honestly pick your feelings. You can have dominion over what you do with those feelings, but you don't choose them. Not if you are being honest with yourself.

Now the physical aspect of detaching is something you can choose regardless of your emotional state.

If part of your GAL is to become more vulnerable within your relationships, this gets tricky. Sure this doesn't have to start with ones S before reconciliation. And probably shouldn't.
But it starts with being honest with one's self and (*warning graphic content*) getting in touch with one's feelings. I know that this was a issue that my IC addressed early in IC and MC. I can't imagine, in fact, I know, I am not alone in this deficiency. Mindfulness and Vulnerability are another subjects for another time.

So, you start acting differently, 180, rules, LRT, and the W starts to respond. She starts to warm up and LBS, being honest with himself starts to ease up. This is more probable with a WAW than a WW. IMO.

You slip a bit. But your logic says you must not go there without proper reconciliation.
So you have to get back to the physical aspects of detachment without coming across aggressive or angry or adversarial.
Without an Event, it is not an easy segway.