UK services for veterans are not great - he left the army and then nothing - apart from a pension! He sought some help 6 months ago but he said it didn’t help - now he has made a group of friends that are ex military and they meet and talk about their experiences. He now works as a school caretaker (janitor?) and he gets really frustrated. In the army he was in the signals - originally a Russian linguist and then in logistics.
With the kids he is all or nothing! He relates better to the twin boys. Although (at my gentle suggestion) this weekend he did take the girls out for a few hours. D (14) is really upset with him and what he is doing to the family - and tells him so! His eldest S (26) he occasionally sees / speaks to - they are very similar and both happy with the occasional contact. The younger son (20) has no contact through choice - he was only 4 when H last saw him and his Ex W stopped all contact.
I am trying hard to keep it all together. I do worry that I will become a doormat. But being positive and changing the way I am communicating with him is certainly proving helpful. The hardest thing is no R talk - I am learning patience! I worry if I detach too much he will feel abandoned. Things at home are better in so many ways but he sleeps downstairs.....
M: 17 T:17 Me:42 H:48 BD 23/12/2017 H says ‘I don’t want to be married’ D 17 D 15, D 13, S 10, S 10
