Trying to stay above water 2

[25yearsmlc]

So I just got a text from stbxh. Someone is starting to feeel the sting and reality of divorce. He is saying how he will have a mortgage to
Pay when he is 65. Our current house is mortgage free. He said that he will be working until he past retirement to pay his bills.

the reality of divorce is not at all "better than expected" for the person in your h's shoes. For ME, there are more upsides than for xh. I don't think I'm alone in this; literally every divorced woman I know - who was the LBS - , is happier now that they are single.

And many WAS's keep looking over their shoulder b/c they have to when something does not go their way. They have to wonder if their choices were good ones, whereas the LBS makes the best of their situation and has fewer second thoughts.


This is the first talk since he left that he had mentioned any uncertainty in his future. I feel this is a big step. Just not sure which way it will go.

I think he's whining about the cost of his choice. NOT saying he wants back in, but how unfair it is TO HIM.

Please let him wallow in his self pity, alone. Do not point out "well I told you!" And do not comfort him for consequences of his choices.

A short "yes, I guess so." Or "sounds hard". OR saying nothing and getting back to your life.

Show him no anger. I hope you hear that, b/c your anger is not going to help you.

If anger does not serve you, don't show it. If you still feel the anger, use it as a call to action but say nothing to him. It's not productive.

Hang in there.