Newbie In Need Of Guidance #2

[kiro]

Hi I am new and this is the first time that I post something. I am not sure if this is the right place to ask my question or if I should create a new thread..

I am separated since December. My wife left the house and rented an apartment by herself. I had been pursuing her for the past 8 months, calling her every day, getting her gifts, being kind, loving, etc. The more I pursued her, the more it seemed to push her away. Since last week, I decided to stop pursuing her and take care of myself instead. I haven't called her for a week now, and I don't intend on initiating any conversation any time soon.

I hope that things will turn around and we'll be able to get back together, but I don't keep my hopes very high. What I want to know is what to expect if she ever decides she wants us to reconcile the marriage. I am not sure I want to be with someone who could repeat the same thing again. I value commitment and am ready to work on the relationship, but from what I've seen the past year, my wife doesn't seem to value commitment as much. She was ready to give up on our 17 years of marriage way too easily.

I know it is too early to think about this now, but I am curious how did other people handle a reconciliation after going through such a difficult time. I am starting to feel that if she wants to come back one day, it will actually be up to me to decide if I want to take her back or not... Am I making any sense?