I want to come out of this a better person. I want her to be happy, no matter what. She's trying to give us a chance. I'm going to IC now every Tuesday. We both go to MC every other week.
Everyone says let her go. I'm trying to make peace with that.
While I know I don't deserve her, I want to make it work. I guess at this point all I have are her requests for time and space.
That is what I want to give her, while I work on myself.
I am just hurting now in the realization of what I've done and the consequences. I guess my actions have led to this, my wife wanting out, not wanting me.
What do I want out of this situation. The best outcome for my family. My marriage may be over, but I am going to keep working on me to see if there is a chance. Time and space, living in the same house.
I find myself going down the rabbit hole of anguish and thoughts of the future where I'm replaced by another man. My kids calling someone else father. Being alone filled with regrets. I'm trying to show that I can be better than I was.
The old me must go. The old marriage is dead and gone. I'm trying to create something from the ashes, but know that I can not control that. Still...it hurts.
