Re-Detaching

[Caz49]

I can honestly say, I don't read anything into anything my H texts. But I'm either one of the lucky...or unlucky one's in that my H very very rarely gets in touch with me. He only ever replies to a text I've sent, with regard to finances.

His last text did begin with a much more friendly greeting 'Hi there' and I may have felt a small (the smallest small you can possibly get!) stab of hope, but I was able to dismiss it very quickly.

I backslid and made mistakes early on in our sitch...in those times, I apologised once and/or recovered my detachment quickly, and went on just giving H and me 'space' to just be.

A few weeks ago he kissed the top of my head...I just carried on doing what I was doing...which happened to be cleaning up dog wee!
But there was another time a few weeks ago, my son went on a drunken night out and I got worried for his safety...I did see my H that weekend, I exchanged a few texts, all about son, nothing personal related to us. But the next day my H was speaking to me with slightly less rigidity and I asked for a hug. Well yes I felt like a failure...and I got a 2x4 from my daughter. So never to be repeated again! I simply went back to no contact and moved on as if nothing had occurred...again I have the luxury of being a few thousand miles from him and the need to text just doesn't happen.

My worst times come when he comes back to the country to see the children (all grown adults now, but still with the hearts of children). But even now I find myself just going about my business...if we bump into each other so be it. It just so happens that this weekend, I was out when he came to pick them up. I have the feeling he's not as detached from me as he would like me to believe...but then again...so what!

The way I am viewing my situation...it's his loss...and I'm actually happy in my life, with my children, friends, family. So in answer...I don't have to deal with 'slipping' because my H just doesn't contact me...and I'm no longer 'wishing' he would.