Picking up Her MESS #2

[marina7]

V,
Thank you for checking up,it's been a couple hard weeks. I got mammogram and ultrasound done and walk out with breast cancer forms. Wow

They did find the lumps the mammogram came back with some dsrk spot. So schedule to have them do biopsy I will have a surgeon go in and remove the discomfort lump, and then move forward with results.

This weekend kids are with XW, I realize I get bad anxiety when turning them over to W. Not knowing how they will be treated, Kids sometimes tells me some of W random weekends with her. I just listen one example is W was on the phone with someone and made a comment like is so easy having one child. Or another of W conversation with friends is how kids ruin her LIFE.

I sometimes wonder why would W be so cruel to kids they are only kids who never ask to be adopted or mistreated.

I would never understand how a W/H would leave us but also leave there kids. A question many of us want.

My kids are my world they are amazing kids, d9 is doing great in school d9 is going through her emotional cycle one day she is the happiest girl on top of the world and there's days she just hates W I mean hates her. D9 is in that stage of wanting answers she wants to know Why. D9 goes to counseling in school and once a week I take her to our family therapy. I tell d9 is a day at a time.

S8 is now S9 his birthday was couple days ago. My baby is 9 time is flying for me well W called s9 to say happy birthday the conversation lasted 57sec W literally said.

S9 Hi mommy "s had a big smile"
W hi Happy birthday
S9 thank you mommy
W ok gotta go

Silents and s9 says mom said I got go d9 put head down and reading her book. S9 whisper to d9 sorry mom didn't ask for you. D9 responded is nothing New she barely knows we exist. While I was cooking tears runs down my face to see my kids hurting to see them broken.

Court is going we go to court for child support let's see how this goes and kids now have a guardium ad litem we start in 2 weeks is sad to see this happening I ask myself why does W think is ok to seperate kids why do the court system allowed it to go this far without placing my s9 back home for him to be with his sibilings. I will never understand w logic of hurting my kids. Of mistreating them and telling them they really not sister and brother's my kids might not be blood related but they are all adopted and the same to me in my eyes and heart they are my children I never used the word adopted since BD I didn't want them to find out this way.