You may have done a lot of things wrong...but you learned from those mistakes and have grown by leaps and bounds. Posters can learn a lot from your experiences...never doubt that. Each person has something to offer and you just never know how many you may help.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
