Sandi, Thanks for responding. Im going to read some of the ww post. I dont want to nice her back to the marriage, although maybe sometimes my actions reflect otherwise.
She asked me to dinner last night with the kids to celebrate my birthday and(heartbrakingly) i refused. I met a buddy for a few beers instead. When i got home she was talking about that she wanted to have cake with the kids but that i didnt come home. I told her that i would rather have cake with thr kids and i alone. She was takenaback. "Why do u feel that way?" And i told her the following: Yesterday when her parents called to wish me a happy bday it was bittersweet because i feel like my relationship with them will never be the same...that i have great affection for them.
And its also sad that im not going to the wedding because it could be the last one i get to attend and i get along really well with a lot of her family, and unfortunately weddings are theonly time i get to see them.
And that i thought we took a couple steps back workinv on our communication because she never even told me about the wedding. I had to hear it from my son.
And maybe we will not reach our stated goal with mc of being able communicate and coparent effectivley and not be resentful. I said the fact tha she had to think about having a beer with me when i came from the angle of, its not about thr marriage but rather about our stated goals. Basically no matter what happens, im not going to get the wrong idea. I explained how we both dont want to say anything to kids right now until we work on things and that trying to talk at home isnt always easy. Have to shut bedroom door to talk and thag makes them wonder about things. I explained that we have so many big eventa coming up involving our kids, that it would be nice to occasionally do something where we would could talk without worrying.
