So, after getting an angry email (read previous post for info), this morning I get another email saying that he realises that time has moved on since we last saw each other and a lot has happened in that time (yes.....I moved my belongings of our home (he had been taking her there)and asked him to either sell the house or put it on the market after hearing that his OW had moved her job and animals up to the town where our home is....I assumed that she would be moving in (not rocket science is it???). Anyway, back to my current dilemma.......he then said that he hopes I will be able to communicate with him on a more personal level which I apparently have been avoiding since I moved my belongings out (did he expect me to be friendly and happy - I have communicated by email in a civil but business like manner about practical aspects). He then went on to say that he's not sure when I will be ready to see him again (if ever) and that he is available to meet up if it would help to discuss things face to face......
So here's my dilemma ........trust - I'm not sure what his motive is (so sad to be suspicious of someone you were married to for 25 years) but after all this time he hasn't ever really initiated a meeting with me and I am wary of being manipulated by him - I am scared of being hurt again and am reluctant to meet with him unless he is willing to discuss his feelings and our relationship (the last 2 occasions he has basically been unresponsive and refused to discuss anything which has been a waste of time). On the other hand, I want to keep the lines of communication open as I still want a choice of reconciliation in the future......
What are your thoughts on setting the boundaries by telling him that I will only meet with him if he is willing to discuss his feelings and our relationship (I have said how I feel a million times and am worried that he is "baiting" me)? Also do you think he is "cake eating" or is he looking for reassurance as I have never been assertive before and I get the feeling that he is unsure of where things stand ( I haven't seen him for 4 weeks and have not initiated any contact). Its to early for re-connection (although he has never let me go) and I am stronger than I was but I feel I need to handle the situation with finesse.........please help........
