Chain of events that got me back in ER last night.
On Feb 28th, i got a call from son claiming they were screwed. His gf registered on line to a site claiming to consolidate all credit cards and student loans. She got scammed. Son had already transfered his share of the rent to her and did not know if his account was safe.he asked me for the full rent. I made him contact the bank to see the status of his account.
While he was doing this, i texted him: " i do not want to be mean but why do i have to cover the full amount? Should' nt her parents cover her share? "
He called back saying the transfer he made was still pending. I said "great. Can they cancel it?" He said "they are working on it"
An hour later, he texted me saying he got his money back and they were now waiting on his gf's parent to see if they would come through. They were gonna send only 80.00. My son got very upset and told them it should not be him nor me covering this. They finally agreed to send her her half of the rent.
Son's march break is this week. We haf plan a family trip for this week- end to visit D22. How convinient, son's gf apparently hit her head in the fridge at work and also has the week off. ( something i noticed happens often to suddenly be injured to be off at the same time).
So son comes up with the idea of going to spend a couple of days with his father, have him drive them here where they would spend the night, borrow D17s car, leave a day early to go see gf's parents in Sudbury and meet us in North Bay on saturday.
$$$$$$$$ ???????
Who will be short of cash next month? Who will they come asking for it??
I texted in the family group "sorry, i can't go. I am getting cut another $500.00/month in May."
Son: what about us? Me: take the car Son: which one? Me:mine Son: ok thanks! I thought i would spend my March break sitting on my a**..
Wowwww..
Wedn, after having a coffee with a friend, i come home and see by the door, 2 pairs of snowshoes. I walk in and get hit with the smell of cats and dogs urine and crap. Floor his filty, dirty. I grab the mop and start washing the floor.
Son comes down. Son: "hi" Me: "hi" Son: so, do you have plans yourself for the week-end? Me:" no" Son: ok. We were gonna go back to Timmins tonight, drive to Sudbury thursday, go to North Bay friday and come back here Saturday night so you could drive us back sunday.
Me "speechless"
He goes back upstairs. I am hurt, angry, speechless. I grab my set of keys, walk upstairs and BAM face to face with ex-h' s table and chairs. I am already blown away, all i can do is walk to the living room, drop my keys on Son's lap and say" i am going to bed".
Son's come down. Son: are you ok? You seem upset Me: yes, i am upset. My future does'nt look to bright here. Do you realise that if i get ill, i am screwed?
Son: don't worry about it mom.the way you raised us, we will take care of you.
Inside my head, a big YEAH RIGHT!! Just i you do now?
I kissed him goodnight and went to bed baffled. They took my car and left.
D17 felt like she needed to give me her car. I said no.i could have said no. I can walk. She said no. If you take it in the early morning and come and get us for school, i can drop you back off at work. And if you take your lunch at 11h30 instead of 11h0p, i can give you a ride. If you wait 10 min. after work, i will be there. She was also baffled by Son's plans.
Yesterday, all day, my anxiety was off the chart. Ok, not ok, ok, not ok, ok, not ok
Crying on and off with my chest as thight as could be and shaking beyound my control. Finally, right after supper, i went to emerg. Luckily for me, minto councelling had someone in for their hot-line. They called her in. Another luck: it was the same lady that helped me a few years back. I got a session dight there and then.i caught her up with my story. Her reaction reassured me that i was'nt off with my feelings. She asked me permission to adress my doctor prior to him coming in. I said: "of course. I want to adress the root of it. I want to get raid of the resentment, the anger and move on with my life" She said:" the inly reason you haven't move on is because it is up in your face constantly.
I cried and cried and cried. I said: i feel pathetic. It is life. I should be able to handle this.
A few minutes later, the doctor( lady )comes in: The therapist gave me an over view of what your life has been over the last 9 years. You are dealing with a very particular man here.
I did not know what to say. She looked straight into my eyes and sayed: don' t worry, I KNOW HIS TYPE!! My guard went down a bit. She said, your request for therapy has been approved and is also a good idea. The anxiety med you have been on before is also a good idea. I will also renew your "take when needed" anxiety pills. I will provide both to you tonight so that you can sleep. If you need to come back again, come straight here. You'll need an follow up appointment with your family doctor within the next 2 weeks. Might be hard to get. If you cannot book one, ( secret ) he will be the physician in ER next week-end. Around 1pm would be a good time to ahh?? Show up
I smiled. Thank them. They gave me the prescription, my 2 pills for the night and was free to go. Got out at 1015pm. To my surprised, both Daughters were sitting there, waiting for me. It touched my heart. I thought they would have taken the car and drove around until i texted them. You guessed it, i cried some more. But this one was a loving, caring, grateful cry.
Today, i go downstairs to talk to D17.i open her door and BAM eleptycal machine. She says:"look, he invaded my privacy. I wasn't even here. I came in and entered my room without my knowledge nor permission"
Me: i wanted to ask if you were here when they came. I felt the same way you do when i came in.. woww
So there you have it.. no one was home and no one knew they were coming wedn.
Both Son and ex-h just walked right in and made themselves at home. Son, fine..ex-h??? Wtf??
