Fighting my way out of the dark - Part 9

[Holding]

Thought I'd share my latest adventures in enforcing boundaries.

Some background on the scenario in question: In our decree, we decided that XW got to keep the family dogs, but the dogs would come to my house when the boys came over, "to make the transition easier on the boys". (I realize it's actually to alleviate XW's responsibilities for the dogs when the boys aren't with her).

Next week is Spring Break vacation, I'll have the boys, and we're going out of town. So obviously, I could not have the dogs. XW couldn't watch them since she'll also be out of town, and she insisted that I would be responsible for paying for their boarding, since the boys are with me. My L stated the decree did not address this scenario, so XW would be responsible since the dogs are HERS. I informed XW not to bring the dogs to me, and she ignored my request and stated she'd drop them off to me anyway.

I'd been thinking about cutting my vacation short to reduce the cost of the boarding. Then I realized I would be sitting at home, not on vacation, watching her dogs, while XW was off - probably with OM. I don't know why being such an accommodating chump comes so naturally to me. This realization made me angry.

I decided I'd have to pay my L to fix the issue. It would probably cost more than boarding the dogs, but I was really paying to reinforce a boundary.

I had my L contact XW's L, informing her not to drop off the dogs to me. My L informed them we could return to mediation to resolve the issue if needed. After a while, XW's L responded that XW would pay for boarding.

But still, XW never contacted me and told me she'd be boarding them. I still had a suspicion she'd show up this morning with the dogs, and try to get them into the house.

So this morning, when she dropped off S11 to catch the bus, I walked out the house to make sure there was no funny business. I saw the dogs in her car. I told her "The dogs aren't staying here." She yelled back, "I know that, @sshole! I'm bringing them to the vets!" (Which is where they get boarded.)

This was in front of S11. I really wanted to say something because I don't appreciate her doing that in front of him. But I just bit my tongue and walked away.

I have to remind myself - my goal is to get her to respect me, not like me.