I too live in Cali I know that is hard to believe given my screen name.
So we went through the 3 failed mediation attempts before we actually went the court route but honestly they are very similar. The courts and the lawyers for the most part seem to prefer that you figure it out between yourselves... in my case it was a tit for tat ... OK you get this I want that, I will give up this and if you give up that. As far as assets its a line by line thing.
I read somewhere that you never really get everything you want but you hope to get to an agreement you can live with. In my case she had her lawyer in her ear, I was armed with several consultations knowing what I would get which helped me, they tried the bully tactic so I countered with a "I will go for everything and lawyer up if needed" which they did not want so they were more willing to budge on the financials and I had to agree to things that were of no consequence but it was like she had to win somewhere (I actually had to agree to not give S rides on the motorcycle for example ... not a big deal as it has one seat!!).
Going in I knew what my number would be if the courts were to settle it which is a very big deal in this case just knowing what you could get and for me I settled a bit below that but was at peace with it.
