Holy cow! It's Tad...

[tadpole1025]

Hello everyone. I suspect many on here do not know me because there are so many newbies and I've been gone a while. I've been gone too long actually. (Had a hard time remembering my username...password...haha!)

I got the bomb drop in October of 2010. I first came here in January 2011 (I think.) I lurked a while before finally posting. My sitch was pretty ugly and I was in a bad place for a very long time. I won't go into details. You can look up my old posts if you want to. (I would post links, but to be honest, I can't remember how to do it.)

I don't even really know why I'm back. Just wanted to give an update I guess.

You know, I've always had these fantasies about what I would say and how I would act if XW ever tried to be nice and have a conversation with me. I've played it over and over in my head so many times. Well, a couple of weeks ago, I had the chance. Although, it didn't go the way that I had played it out in my head. I have not spoken or even seen XW in close to three years. My son plays in a band and a couple of weeks ago, I went to his show and XW went as well. Not sure if this is normal MLC stuff, but she seemed a little like her old self again. I'm standing there having a drink, and talking to one of my sons. Right out of the blue, she addresses me by name and asks me a question about one of our sons. It was a yes or no question and that's what I gave her for an answer....one word. Later, she interrupted a conversation I was having with my son...TWICE. I was polite but probably came off a little cold. She even made it a point to tell me goodbye. ?????

I'll admit, the whole thing kind of threw me for a loop. My oldest son says that she just wants polite conversation and to be civil. She wants what her sister has with one of her ex husbands. I'll admit that being polite is probably the best, but what gives her the right to just come up and talk to me? What makes her think that I would want to talk to her? I want no friendship. Friends don't do what she did. I could care less if I ever see her again. After cheating on me, telling lies, turning her family against me, turning my life upside down, leaving me in financial ruin....I'm supposed to be polite and friendly just because that is what she wants? I think next time, I may just walk away. I'll admit, I was polite but...it really bugged me a lot. I'd love to hear from some of the vets on this. (Am I considered a vet now? Haha.)

As for me, I've done a lot of work on myself (although it took a long time to get going.) I have a lady friend that I do things with once or twice a week. Nothing romantic...I've decided that I don't want a relationship...not even with her even though she is pretty cool. She knows it too. I actually enjoy being single. Maybe I'll fall in love some day, but if it never happens, I'm cool with it. Being single has given me lots of time to enjoy things that I never could enjoy before. I've become passionate about a few things and a few beliefs. I love who I've become. I've always had a love for birds and sea life. Now I have time to actually enjoy them. I've picked up photography as a hobby and try to get out a couple of times a month to take some shots. I have a great job that I enjoy and am finally making enough money to pay bills. I even donate to a few animal organizations and homeless organizations when I can.

I've received a few job offers to return to the radio. (I was a disc jockey for 23 years.) Many would kill for that chance, but you know what? I turned them down because I like my life JUST. THE. WAY. IT. IS.

9 months ago, I had a heart attack and had a major blockage in the "widow maker" artery. They gave me a stent and diagnosed me with Diabetes. I take a boat load (or poop load...not sure which is more) of medications and take Insulin shots every day. It [censored], but I'm alive. Doctors said I was very lucky.

I've quit smoking and have joined a gym. I try to work out at least three days a week.

Overall, I'm good. I'm VERY good. I'm enjoying my SINGLE LIFE. For the newbies, keep going. It get's better. And, keep posting. There are many on this board that have been right where you are and have made it to the other side. This board got me through some very dark times. I'm finally where I want to be...finally where I never thought I'd get. Keep going and keep looking up. Maybe you'll see an eagle.



Tad