Well after a decade of living like roommates, waiting for a show of remorse waiting for reconciliation, doesn't sound like a M.
unfortunately, most of our marriages were like this before BD, but you're right, it isn't much of a M. You now have an understanding that M can and should be so much more, and going through this process we gain tools that can help a M flourish in the future.
Anyway, if you're waiting for her, then you are doing it wrong. I do not define "Standing for my Marriage" as following the spouse around looking for scraps. For me, it stands for keeping the door open and a willingness to find in my heart forgiveness and an openness to reconciliation if my S decided to 100% recommit.
This time is best spent on becoming the best person you can be, so if the opportunity presents, it will translate into the best Husband. Be nice, be cordial, but do your thing, and until she's 100% committed to the M, she's not in the M. So if you want to stand for your M, you will stand alone for now.
Wells aid. The other things is that the WAS/WS was part of that roommate equation too! I know they love to rewrite history and blame the LBS for all of it, but they were 50% to blame for the state of their MR too! They (and we sometimes too) forget that.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
