Divorce and Acceptance- Part 2

[Pax_luv]

Oh my goodness! Haven't posted in quite a while! Hello

I continue to read along, but rarely have time to post these days.

Life goes on. I'm finding myself increasingly angry towards ex and all that he has put me through. I want to say that I hate him, but that would be extremely childish of me and truth is I don't hate anyone. I know I'm supposed to send him off with love and light, but the truth is, I want him to suffer.... Bad. That's terrible of me to say, but it's the God honest truth. I've never willed this on anyone before. But he does have evil running through his veins. I know now, more than ever, MLC or not, there was never any room for me in that relationship.

I have more court dates coming up, more money to shell out, more lies to endure, etc but relatively I'm doing ok. The anger comes in waves and sometimes it hits me like a ton of bricks. Just happened this morning actually.

I've been working on an industry- changing project for the last year and it finally went live today. I poured my heart and soul into this thing as well as a ton of personal sacrifice but it was worth it because I'm helping people live healthier and happier lives. It was such a meaningful morning.... Then I went back to my office and BAM.... The emotions came rushing in- how could he be so evil? How could he lie so much? How does he not have a shred of morose? How can he think this is my doing? How is he still the victim? How could I be replaced? How does he not miss me or what he had? How can he not be sorry?

We all know the song and dance. I must take the focus off him and stay the path, but darn if it isn't hard. 3 years into this mess and it still gets to me.

In other news.... I continue to keep stacking up goals and gal activities for myself. It's gotten to the point where it is second nature. Been seriously contemplating going back to school for a second masters.... Just have to come across a couple tens of thousands of dollars. (Hehe... I laugh as I type that). But in all seriousness, I wish this was something I pursued right after bd, it would have been a great distraction. I could be halfway to a doctorate by now! Oh well.... Live and learn.

That's all I got folks... I wish you all peace and strength! Keep on keepin on!