A grateful heart..

[Sotto]

Ah, thanks so much you guys! Things are going well with this guy. I certainly enjoy his company and there is mutual attraction and sparks between us. He initiates quite a bit too, which I like. I am still cautious and I'm not really looking for someone to marry, live with or share finances with. We've had that chat...

We had a great evening out last week - really lovely. Laughed a lot and had kiss at the end of the evening, which had sparks bouncing around in me for a day or so after (it's been awhile...) I later realised that this night was the final day of the 4th year after BD1, where I found a huge trail of emails between XH and his affair partner. It was nice to see that four years can get any of us to this place. The important thing is to be on the path..

What I feel within myself is much more comfort and I do feel I have settled into me. I have less fear about how things may unfold and I enjoy myself more. I'm more direct and I say if something isn't working for me, or if I enjoy something about someone. It's a work in progress for sure, but when I compare 'me' when I met XH to 'me' now, she is different and in a good way. This guy isn't really central to that, but he does feel like a nice addition just now...

Otherwise, I am still doing plenty with friends, working hard and caring for Mum. I often think about an article a good friend shared with me about the 3 great loves in your life - love of self, love for others (widest sense - nurturing relationships with family, friends, animals..) and doing things you love - finding that sense of flow, and activities that bring purpose, meaning and joy. I see these things, along with gratitude, as the gift of happiness.

Anyway folks, I just want to say that there is another side, and for many of us on this rocky road, we feel that we may never reach it. Have I reached it? Who knows?? But we do ultimately get there, and we rediscover peace and joy - and ourselves! I feel so much more grounded now, and I operate much more from my own value set than a sense of what others want and may think. It's freeing..

Best wishes to you all and I'll keep you posted. I have so many good memories of special people on this forum who pay forward the help they received to others and it really can make a huge difference. It certainly has to me and for that my heartfelt thanks.

Xx