You may need legal help to get the SSDI or SSI through - they like to refuse everyone the first time. Perhaps legal aid could help with that?
The good news is you have been married for over ten years - that means in the future you can collect social security spousal or widow's benefits based on his earning record - could be helpful if he earns more than you.
Meanwhile - you need to take the focus off of him and put it onto getting well.
