Steve, I appreciate your feedback, but you couldn't be further from the truth.
Originally Posted By: Steve85
First, reading the piece of paper you were burning isn't that far from rifling through the trash. Sorry, but you were looking for something no matter the circumstances. Own it.
I'm not going to rehash this, so suffice it to say that the information was impossible to miss. I didn't go looking for it. I didn't have to look for it. It was there, plain sight, not folded, hidden or obscured in any way. Anyone would have seen it. Nothing to own here.
Act's point was valid though. That is how she would see it.
Originally Posted By: Steve85
Second, delete the FB account. You are not starting FB from a place of health. You are doing it to track her. Admit that too. Why after all this time did you "finally did the Facebook thing"??
You have no idea why I would be starting a FB account, so allow me to edify.
I have let go of every friendship in my life that I have ever had. I quite literally have zero friends. This has happened for various reasons over the years and my W and family have been enough for me, but the time has come to reach out again. Some of them I truly want to be involved with, some I need to make amends.
Either way, I'm doing this for my mental health and to GAL, not to stalk my W. Maybe that is the reason you would do it, but that isn't the reason I am doing it.
If I wanted to spy on my W, I could have every text, post, email and picture in my possession in very short order. sandi2 gave me the advice not to spy because I can't unsee what is there once I find it. I am taking this advice because the texts I saw that confirmed the A are still in my mind and bother me a great deal; and they were mild compared to what I probably will find. There is plenty of time for me to gather that information should I need it.
My question regarding how to handle it with my W stems from not pushing her further away. Nothing more, nothing less.
Originally Posted By: Steve85
Sorry if our feedback angers you. We are trying to help. Beating around bushes and tiptoeing around people's feelings do not help.
I'm not angry and I do know you are trying to help. If you have read all of my sitch, I have said several times that I have very thick skin. I welcome honest feedback.
What I don't want is feedback based on someone reading a few lines and then assuming they know what is going on inside my head. Doing what we are doing is difficult enough on a message board. Making assumptions and giving advice without clarification compounds the problem. If you need more information from me, just ask.
M: 25 T:33 Me: 48 W: 49 S24, D21, D18, D15, S8 All living at home while going to school A confirmed: 12-25-17 EA Definite PA Probable