LRT -

[joejoe1]

G,

You are holding on to your husband so tight, he can't breath, let him breath, let him go! I'm not saying give up hope on your M, or stop standing from your M. I'm saying get out of the way and let time and your on work and progress do what it needs to do. That's what's going to give you the best chance of getting your H back. You can have all the R talk you want right now, it's only going to push him further away. You are applying a lot of pressure, take the pressure off of him and allow him to see what life is like without you, a strong and confident G.

I will give you analogies.

The first is a parent/child relationship.

After 18 years of raising a child most parents, tend to want their freedom, so they finds ways to help their children leave the nest. The child tends to hold on tight to their parents help and support. The parent want space and the child is afraid of space. But when the moment comes and the child feels the freedom and realize they can make it by themselves, they stop relying on their parents and move forward with life. The parents usually start to miss being relied on and supporting their child. The parent starts to seek out their child attention and the child starts move further away from needing parents no longer. This only happens when the child MOVE FORWARD, not is the child stays. Which one are you right now?
Give your Husband something to miss.

The second:

To make a cake, you need butter, flour, eggs, milk a bowl, spoon or blender. Now you can eat and use all these tools and ingredients alone, but to get the cake you have to use them all together. To get to the cake there's a process. First you have to make a mess (BD), you have to break eggs, open flour, and then stir, mix and blend these ingredients together. Now you can eat the mix at this point, but it won't taste that good, but it can be eaten, but, it's ugly and a pile of mix (This is us at this point, the LBS). The next step is to take this mix, that came from a mess (our sitch) and put it in the oven/the heat/the fire. Now in that fire all kinds of reactions happen, all kind of molecules moving fast as possible, banging into each other, but after a while, those molecules start to slow down, and something amazing start to happen, a cake is formed. A beautiful tasty cake. Now here's my point after that long analogy. For the mix to become a cake, it has to go thru the fire, the mix, can't go around, beneath, over the fire, the mix has to go thru the fire.

Guess what G, you are in the FIRE now, you are going THRU the fire, you have all kind of emotions going on, but you will settle down and become a beautiful and tasty cake. Trust the process of DB, it will take time, and help you THRU the process (the fire), and thru the process is your progress. I know it's painful, but your healing is on the other end (out the oven).

Realize, I never mentioned your H in the process. This is your journey and your process, to get to your healing. You have to work on yourself, so you can heal. You want the best chance to get your H back. Work on yourself and you will give yourself that best chance. (I used you and your a lot in the paragraph above)

Love bends
Love is unconditional and has no expectations

Onward and Foward